A few months ago, we observed Children’s Mental Health Week, focusing on the important theme, ‘My Voice Matters’. This theme resonated deeply with us at stayingclose.co.uk, highlighting the vital need to empower children and young people, ensuring they have the tools and opportunities to express themselves and feel heard. We firmly believe in the power of young people sharing their perspectives, particularly those with experience of the care system.
In the spirit of ‘My Voice Matters’, we were privileged to share a powerful blog post written by Benita, a valued member of their team and a care leaver. Benita generously offered her personal reflections on the role self-care has played in supporting her mental health and provided practical advice for other young people. We are incredibly thankful to Benita for her bravery and willingness to share her journey.
https://www.childrenscommissioner.gov.uk/blog/self-care-a-care-leavers-journey/
Please be aware that Benita’s blog post discusses mental health issues that some readers may find emotionally challenging. If you feel you need support, please see the links to resources provided at the bottom of this post.
Benita’s Story: Finding Strength Through Self-Care
The original post below was written by Benita, a care leaver and member of our team, who wanted to share her personal experience with self-care and its impact on mental well-being.
Benita writes:
Self-care is fundamentally about establishing behaviours to look after yourself and promote your mental health – it’s something I now practice regularly and value deeply.
Looking back, I truly wish I had prioritised self-care more when I was younger. It would have made a significant difference in navigating my experiences with depression and the everyday struggles I faced.
For a long time, I didn’t truly engage in self-care. I didn’t feel like I cared enough about myself to take that time, often consumed by the challenges and circumstances around me. As I’ve shared previously in my blog post, ‘Living with depression: A care leaver’s journey’, my mental health was poor when I was younger. While it has improved, it’s still something I remain mindful of. There were days I would simply stay home, feeling unable to do anything but mope.
At that time, the concept of self-care wasn’t on my radar; I had no idea how impactful it could be. My mind was constantly replaying the past, and I was often my own harshest critic, tearing myself down mentally.
Counselling was a turning point for me. My counsellor consistently encouraged me to take care of myself and make my own needs a priority. This was a crucial realisation: the importance of self-love. If you don’t nurture and care for yourself, how can you truly expect others to?
Developing a clearer mind was key to building my self-esteem and confidence. I learned not to dwell on the small things that bothered me. I began to believe in myself and simply feel good about who I am.
My self-care routine now includes activities like visiting a spa, exercising regularly, engaging in relaxing hobbies, journaling, and taking trips. Sometimes I enjoy doing these with a friend, and other times I need that time for myself.
Taking time for yourself is incredibly beneficial and therapeutic for your mental well-being. By dedicating energy to improving our personal quality of life, we reinforce a powerful message to ourselves: that we are worthy of love, care, and attention. These wellness practices contribute to a more positive self-image and foster self-compassion.
I encourage you to think about what self-care could look like for you and find a few things that resonate. This could be simple things like going for long walks, reading a book, focusing on a skincare routine like a face mask, finding inspirational quotes, practicing yoga or stretching, going to the gym, lighting a candle, listening to your favourite music, grabbing a coffee, or cooking.
You could also take a moment to write down five things you are grateful for, journal about your life, create a vision board for the year, go for a drive, practice mindful meditation, or simply sit and watch the sunset. Sometimes, just turning off your phone or taking a break from social media can be a fantastic way to have some uninterrupted time for yourself.
Implementing these practices has genuinely helped me become more confident and value my own worth. I now make an effort to dedicate time to myself at least once a week.
I truly hope my suggestions are helpful, and please remember to take things one day at a time.
If you need support for your mental health, you can contact Shout, which provides 24/7 urgent mental health support. Text “SHOUT” to 85258 or visit giveusashout.org. You can also find a local NHS urgent mental health helpline in England via this link. If you are under 19, you can contact Childline for free and confidential support by calling 0800 1111 or visiting childline.org.uk.
Benita has previously shared powerful personal blog posts with us about her experiences, including ‘My journey to independence: A care leaver’s journey’ and her insights into mental health in ‘Living with depression: A care leaver’s journey’